Today's the day!

This will be a short blog but...today is our WEDDING DAY! I can't believe its here already and I don't think it has really sunk in all the way. I can't wait to see all my girls in their pretty dresses and of course I can't wait to see Ricky in his tux. We had our rehearsal last night and just doing the run through had my heart was pounding. I can't imagine what it will be doing during the actual ceremony! I can't wait!

I bought underwear- a real milestone!

Today was a momentus occassion. I bought underwear for Ricky. Well, that's what I went for and ended up getting that and a ton of new clothes for our honeymoon, (there's a huge sale at JCPenney, by the way). I have never bought him a stitch of clothing in my life! I am taking care of the packing for the honeymoon and I noticed that the three pair of underwear Ricky are at least a decade old and look like swiss cheese. The boy was in need of undies! But because his work schedule is so odd he was not going to have any time to go shopping for himself. I decided to pick some up for him while I was out getting some other things. It just so happens that they were having a great sale and he still needed some sea worthy clothes. Jackpot! But halfway through I realized that I have never bought him clothing before. Not a sweater for Christmas or socks for his birthday...nothing! Actually, I've been afraid to. Ricky is...uh...particular about clothing, food, movies...everything! But I felt confident that I knew his taste well enough to pick up a few things. He'll be home after midnight tonight and I'm excited to see if he likes it!

Now I maybe heading to see my dad! He just got into town tonight for the wedding festivities this week!

Who the heck am I?

I never thought I might be the woman that felt like she "lost her identity," when she got married but I kind of understand that feeling now, I think. My identity is in Christ so I never doubt that but it is strange for me to go from being a single independent woman to being a woman that doesn't pay for things; who doesn't do things for herself around the house that she's capable of; who just doesn't take care of everything herself. I have a WONDERFUL fiance who loves to provide for me and take care of me--it gives him joy to make sure we have everything we need and want. But it is hard to get used to. I am not a young girl going from her parents' home and care to the care of her husband. I am 26 and have lived on my own for years. Not to mention I am a naturally independent person. But to a certain extent independence is some thing you relinquish a little bit of when you get married. This is true for both the man and the woman. You become less INdependent and more INTERdependant on each other. Every decision you make now involves another persons wishes and preferences from where you go to dinner to how much you spend on clothing. This isn't bad or make me less 'modern' than other women its just a choice that you make to combine your life with another person for one reason or another. As a Christian, to me marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church. With that in mind, I feel like this confusion over giving up bits of my independence is a mirror to the fact that I had been living without relying on God in all things for a long time. If am living humbly, leaning on God for all things--needs, strength, support, etc.--why is it to so challenging to let go of what was supposed to be gone in the first place,(my reliance on myself in place of God)? I am truly seeing how God uses marriage to strengthen our relationship with Him and our understanding of His loving character. What I also learned, thanks to my patient and loving husband-to-be, is that this is going to be a process. I don't have to wake up on April 24, 2010 and know exactly how to do this wife thing. Its going to be a life long learning process. I am so thankful God gave me a super patient husband to temper my super impatience with myself and others.

So to the question I started with: Who the heck am I? I am the Lord's and he is working on me more patiently than I am.

Down to Single Digits...

Today marks nine days until our wedding day. I cannot believe how fast this engagement has gone. When we set the date in July it seemed like it would never come around. For ten months the wedding has seemed like a hypothetical, (albeit expensive), day. I think its because when you're growing up as a girl you talk with your friends about "my wedding," or "when I get married," and then follow those statements with something like, "I want a wedding dress made out of diamonds with a 15 foot train and I want Donnie(Wahlberg)to wear a white tuxedo and top hat." But then one day you grow up and you really meet the man you're going to share your life with and your wedding, hopefully, becomes a more scaled down but important celebration of the start of that life. But a part of you really can't believe its really going to happen. Its surreal to say I'm getting married next week. I can't wait!

As excited as I am for this big day, I realized today how great its going to be to be able to get back to regular life without something huge looming ahead of me. I will be relieved to refocus attention on school and finishing the last year and a half of college; serving at church; reading a book for fun and making plans beyond a wedding. There are things I'd like to commit my attention and money too but haven't been able to since we've been planning the wedding. We'd like to paint the living room; I'd like to take more classes to help me finish earlier; work on organizing the kitchen and office; do a bible study for the girls at church; get to know my neighbors...all kinds of things! But for right now, I have nine days left to enjoy our engagement and anticipate our special day and we fully intend to!

Two weeks from tomorrow...

So who are we? We are Mandy and Ricky. We are 26 and 33 respectively and we are just two weeks from saying, "I do." I can't believe how quickly this engagement has gone and how much we've grown as individuals and as a couple over the past 10 months. The wedding planning process has been interesting at times but for the most part, it has been a pretty peaceful process. As a matter of fact, we are 15 days out and I am sleeping and feeling better than I have in a long time. I am calm knowing that we have planned and worked to make this a wonderful day but we know that getting married is the goal, not throwing an awesome party. If the cake collapses, the dress gets trampled by rhinos or the tuxes get blown away in a tornado it doesn't matter. What matters is that we show up on the day to commit our lives to one another. But I really hope none of those other things happen!

Although we like to think we are best couple on the planet, we're a pretty regular couple. We like to stay at home and eat pizza while watching Survivor; we have two dogs; I do the dishes and he takes out the garbage but there is one unique thing about us. We're probably the only co-habitating couple who are abstaining until marriage. Its not the most ideal situation for a lot of people but we are making it work. Its important to us to abstain because of our Christian convictions. Its been difficult at times but we know our boundaries and we are committed to the goal. And I think I speak for both of us when I say: COME ON 15 DAYS AND PASS ALREADY!