Who the heck am I?

I never thought I might be the woman that felt like she "lost her identity," when she got married but I kind of understand that feeling now, I think. My identity is in Christ so I never doubt that but it is strange for me to go from being a single independent woman to being a woman that doesn't pay for things; who doesn't do things for herself around the house that she's capable of; who just doesn't take care of everything herself. I have a WONDERFUL fiance who loves to provide for me and take care of me--it gives him joy to make sure we have everything we need and want. But it is hard to get used to. I am not a young girl going from her parents' home and care to the care of her husband. I am 26 and have lived on my own for years. Not to mention I am a naturally independent person. But to a certain extent independence is some thing you relinquish a little bit of when you get married. This is true for both the man and the woman. You become less INdependent and more INTERdependant on each other. Every decision you make now involves another persons wishes and preferences from where you go to dinner to how much you spend on clothing. This isn't bad or make me less 'modern' than other women its just a choice that you make to combine your life with another person for one reason or another. As a Christian, to me marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church. With that in mind, I feel like this confusion over giving up bits of my independence is a mirror to the fact that I had been living without relying on God in all things for a long time. If am living humbly, leaning on God for all things--needs, strength, support, etc.--why is it to so challenging to let go of what was supposed to be gone in the first place,(my reliance on myself in place of God)? I am truly seeing how God uses marriage to strengthen our relationship with Him and our understanding of His loving character. What I also learned, thanks to my patient and loving husband-to-be, is that this is going to be a process. I don't have to wake up on April 24, 2010 and know exactly how to do this wife thing. Its going to be a life long learning process. I am so thankful God gave me a super patient husband to temper my super impatience with myself and others.

So to the question I started with: Who the heck am I? I am the Lord's and he is working on me more patiently than I am.